Ahh…Sweet Golf… – submitted by BethDay

  • There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly –or start cheating.
  • An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice– once before swinging, andonce again, after swinging.
  • Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize orlaugh.
  • Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you,and the fastest are those behind.
  • Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
  • There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, andreturn with three enemies.
  • Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken.
  • One day at the local golf course the Club Hacker challenged the Course Pro to a matchfor $100 dollars. The Hacker told the Pro that since he was much better than him, he mustspot the Hacker two Gotchas. The Pro had never heard of this but paid it no attention and agreed.
  • At the end of the match a few members had gathered to watch the Pro pay the Hacker $100dollars on Hole 18. As the Pro approached a member asked what happened. The Pro said wellI had to spot him two Gotchas. What the hell is that? the member asked.
  • Well I had honors on the first tee and as I approached the ball and spread my feet toassume my stance he reached up and grabbed my balls as hard as he could and yelled”Gotcha.” Have you ever tried to play 18 holes waiting on the second Gotcha.

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