Hockey Jokes

Top Ten Ways The New York Rangers Spent Their Time Off

From David Letterman – Friday, January 20, 1995 Top Ten Ways The New York Rangers Spent Their Time Off[Presented by members of the New York Rangers hockey team]

10. Joy riding on the zamboni.
9. Skeet shooting on the White House lawn.
8. Watching Oprah!
7. You know that adorable skating bunny in the Ice Capades? That was me!
6. Watched tape of 1994 Stanley Cup Game 7, 300 times!
5. Trying to make time with Susan Powter.
4. Playing golf with the Yankees.
3. Eating!
2. Keeping my stick waxed, if you know what I mean.
1. Doing Stanley Cup-sized Jello shots.

Hockey Jokes

  • The other day, when I was watching a boxing match on TV, a hockey game brokeout!
  • Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
  • Why was there a timeout in the leper hockey game?There was a face off in the corner!
  • What’s the difference between a hockey game and a prize fight?In a hockey game, the fights are real.
  • Hockey is a slippery game, played on ice. – Jack Parker, coach of BostonUniversity, the team that got annihilated 9-1 in the national championship game

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