More Hunting Jokes

  • From ‘News of the Weird’:A company in California has started to market “camouflage toilet paper” for usein the woods and plans to run testimonials from hunters who claim they have beenshot at while using ordinary toilet paper (by hunters who mistook them forwhite-tailed deer).
  • Two morons are out duck hunting. They hunt and hunt and hunt into the latehours of the evening and still have not killed one duck. Finally, moron #1 saysto moron #2, “Maybe we’d do better if we threw the dog up higher.”
  • Did you hear about the moron who went elephant hunting?He got a hernia carrying the decoys.
  • A moron hunter gets lost in the woods, so he does the standard survivalprocedure of firing three shots into the air. Every few hours, he repeats this,but no one comes. Finally after two days, someone stumbles across him. “Boy amI glad to see you!!” he shouts, “I ran out of arrows about three hours ago.”
  • Two Poles went hunting. As they were driving to the hunting lodge, they saw asign which said “Bear Left”, so they went home.
  • How can hunters find their game in the woods?By listening to the tree bark.
  • From some L.A. paper, in a column by Roger Simon:A recently released federal study, however, showed that 50% of all huntingaccidents come from hunters falling out of trees.
  • Two tourists in Africa decided to do some lion hunting. When they found somelion footprints, one of the tourists got scared. He whispered to his partner,”You follow this prints forward and find out where the lion is going. I’llfollow these prints backward and find out where the lion came from.”
  • Missouri – A man showing off a turkey he thought he had killed was shot in theleg last week when the wounded bird thrashed around in his car trunk andtriggered his shotgun. “The turkeys are fighting back.” said Sheriff RonSkiles. And well they might; it turns out Larry Lands, who was in satisfactorycondition in the hospital in Potosi, and his son, Larry Jr., 16, were hunting aweek before the start of turkey season and will probably be fined, the sheriffsaid.

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