Prepared witness

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him,”Did you actually see the accident?”
The witness: “Yes, sir.”

The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?”
The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches.”

The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): “Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?”
The witness: “Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question.”

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